Taken for granted

Last night wasn’t a very good night and far too short for me. I went to bed early, putting in my ear-plugs and fortunately fell asleep. Unfortunately, ear-plugs don’t really help much against noises like slamming doors and people trampling around on the floor right on top of me. So I was woken up again. This time, I went upstairs and asked people why they cannot show just a little respect for me. I also find it wrong that their young daughter who has to go to school in the mornings and always complains about being so tired is up so late. I honestely told them that I feel disrespected because I am always so very quiet and careful in the mornings as to not wake anyone up. And if people have a nap during the day, I also am quiet. I simply can’t bring myself to be like them: be loud and wake others up, disturb their rest.

Unfortunately, talking to them didn’t help. They can’t understand that I need a few hours of good sleep. I also told them that I feel taken for granted because even on my day off no one helps me with the jobs I do for THEM. A day off should be a day off, right?

At the moment I have huge problems with feeling disrespected, unappreciated and taken for granted. I used to work as a barista about 6-7 years ago and had a boss who really made me feel like work is enjoyable. He knew what to say to build up the people who work for them and he always – every single day – took the time to talk to each and every of his workers even though there always were about 20 of them. He noticed the good and the bad. He helped the bad workers to improve and he helped the good workers to become even better, even organized workshops etc. He showed respect and he was truly grateful when his workers helped him to make his business a success.

Even though the work situation here is quite a different deal (i.e. I work a few hours each day and pay some rent in exchange for accommodation and board) and it’s not a business but a farm, it would still be nice if the boss would display the properties of a good boss. I also help his wife quite a bit bydoing things in my own time: collecting eggs, getting the mail in the morning, burning the rubbish. In exchange, she was supposed to sometimes drive me to town so I can get some shopping done and get cash to pay the rent. I thought this was just fair and I always only went with her once every 1-2 weeks on trips that she did ANYWAY. There was no detour involved for her at all. I never asked her to plan the trips so they would suit me.

A few weeks ago though she, her husband and me had an arguement (with the husband more like a middle man) because she was angry as I dared to sell some of MY OWN books and DVDs. She treated me in a way that almost made me leave the place. After all, how can she become mad because I sell MY things? She had the chance to watch some of the DVDs for 1.5 years. She never cared to. Then she accused me of “stealing her opportunities to watch the DVDs”, that I wouldn’t care. That I never give her anything when she drives me to town. That I never invite her for a coffee in exchange of the driving etc. That I would be ungrateful.

This still annoys me very much and changed my attitude towards her even more. Every single day (apart from the days I cook) I thank her for cooking. When she dropped me off in town, I thanked her. She didn’t thank me for burning her heap of rubbish. And do I get a thank you for every day I walk down the long drive to collect the mail because she can’t manage to do this little job? Do I get a thank you for every single day I collect eggs and look after the chickens? Is anybody there for me when I go through a little trauma because a hen is sick or even dies (which fortunately doesn’t happen more than 1-2 a year) or when there is another animal that needs care?

The result is that I haven’t been able to really have a break from the farm for almost two months. It’s a very rural area, I don’t have a driver’s licence, there are no buses and a taxi to town would cost me more than it’s worth. I tried to find someone via Carpool sites, but no such luck. It’s the middle of nowhere. There are two cars in the house and that woman goes out almost every day – but it’s “such a hassle” to drop me off and pick me up again even though it’s right on the way. I bet, if I offered to pay her $20 each way, she’d be very eager.

I often thought about stopping the extra work I do for those people. Why get their mail? Why collect the eggs? That woman often just sits in front of the computer, plays games or watches TV. She has enough time to do those things on her own and I could use my own time for other things!

Maybe I will take a taxi one day – because I’m getting “cabin fever”. I would like to see some friendly people, even if it’s just a nice person at a check-out or a nice barista in a cafe.

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1 Comment

Filed under Morning hours

One response to “Taken for granted

  1. Ever heard this saying…”Sometimes, people don’t notice the things we do for them until we stop doing it.” Sounds like you’re being taken for granted. Please vent all your frustration here and don’t give them the pleasure of seeing you break down. Focus on your book. Hopefully the other half of your supplies will arrive soon. Take care.

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