Do or do not

As some of you know, I have a few books that need to be written. Some already have quite a lot of content, others are just ideas in my head. But so far, I have not finished a single one. I keep myself busy by writing and translating for other people. My excuse is that I will otherwise have no money. It’s kind of a fact – but is it also something to keep myself from really trying? Do I manipulate myself?

I know all the theories about what it means to be a professional: you turn up no matter what. I do not turn up for my novels. I keep them hanging. I keep myself hanging. This has to change. I have more and more ideas about how to connect the different events in my fantasy book that I wanted to write since I was 16 – and that was 15 years ago.

I thought about waiting until I move to England or Wales before I start being serious about writing –  after all, the move has to be planned, things have to be sold, more money has to be earned because plane tickets are expensive… and so on and so on. But aren’t that just more excuses?

Am I scared of writing down the stories in my head? Scared of them not being read by anyone? Why can I write for others but not for myself and my characters?

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