Online dating from my point of view

When it comes to online dating, I’ve had not as many experiences as others, but enough to doubt that this kind of “dating” would be the right option for me in the future. The first problem would be what I put as my location – would I have to update my location every time I move, or would I simply put a central place in Scotland and hope that the right person would find me (but what if I was hundreds of miles away when that person turned up?).

But then, it is not very likely that I will try online dating again. When I still lived in New Zealand, I gave it a try at various times. Once I even got to meet a very nice guy, and was quite hopeful. Just to later find out that he was dating a multitude of women at the same time – not being honest to a single one of them. Other times, it never came to a meeting simply because the messages I received were hardly ever appealing enough.

The big problem I have with online dating is the superficiality of it. Most men don’t put any effort in their first message. They send you a wink, a smile, or the equivalent you get on the various sites. Then there are messages like “Hi, u r cute.” That’s it. No question, no introduction, nothing. I always wonder about whether and/or how to reply to such messages. The sender obviously didn’t even feel the need to use correct spelling. A real turn off for me – I don’t mind typos, and I don’t expect people to be perfect, but a few basic things matter to me. A lot.

Other times, people ask for a meeting after only a few very brief messages. Often this comes from people who don’t have a very detailed profile and I’m intelligent enough not to put myself at risk of meeting some weird creep.

A while back, I saw that the “New Scientist” had a dating service, and I thought “Okay, you should be able to meet some intelligent, nice people there.” I was wrong. It wasn’t any better than other dating sites.

From my point of view, online dating is not a very good way to find the right match. It is indeed like looking for a needle in a haystack. Somewhere amongst all those profiles, there might be a guy or girl who would be a good match – or maybe he or she has also given up on online dating.

Have you made any experiences with online dating? What is your approach? Do you fill out your profile and write thoughtful messages when you see a profile that interests you? Or do you just use it to find a quick date?

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1 Comment

Filed under Random thoughts

One response to “Online dating from my point of view

  1. I think the main problem with getting to know people this way is that many just do it for fun and don’t take it seriously. I suppose with a bit of time and experience, you’d be able to spot the time-wasters easily and conversely, those who really want to meet a partner. But I agree with you that mostly it’s superficial. Having said that, my first contact with my now husband was online, but it was our first meeting (arranged by friends) that sealed the deal! Maybe that’s the answer – an introduction from someone you know who might know someone you’d get along with (whether online or otherwise) … good luck in any case. Sx

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